Fifteen Hundred.

1500th post.

So, that's what this blogpost is all about after all. The 1500th post. Isn't that such a huge number? In other words, I can simply put I have been writing more than 1499 post of ultimate rubbishness. Something which I think quite an accomplishment too, huh? And what a huge amount of time has been thrown in making this blog such a blog by itself. And such a huge amount of words has been typed which came out from this mind that itself can't be controlled. It's like an explosion of idea. Like a collection of nostalgia. Like a record of memorabilia. Something I want, something I bought, something I dream. What a big fat blog it is.

Just imagine how would you feel when suddenly you wake up one morning, click on the link that you've been bookmarked in your web browser and suddenly realising that everything is gone. Gone, gone, gone! The website is still there, but the entry is none! Nada. Not Rafael Nadal... (that's a different story). But nada. Don't you feel that there's a case of webocalypse happening there?

Actually that's what I did last week when I tried to delete all the entries that has been accumulating in this blog. More than 1400 blogposts has been totally wiped out from existence. Erased. Some people did freak out when they see it's nothing but the web to happen like this...(see pix below)

But, why did I do it? Trying to delete everything that has been my own body of work through all these years? Didn't I feel it's such a waste to lose everything that by itself is like my huge property?

The answer is to provoke. And to test. To provoke myself to try taking the plunge and do what I've been trying to do since... forever. I used to say I wanted to stop from blogging when I reached 1000th post (for no reason whatsoever). And I keep on mentioning I wanted to end the BigFatBlog once and for all. And to be able to delete all the post in one single click, and opening this blog the next day seeing a blank page with nothing but the entry "...Gone.", it gave me such a great relief. Absolute weird feeling, but relieve. Coz I dare to take the plunge.

And to test. I wanna try if I could be able to live life without visiting this blog. To test whether I can live without writing and updating. To test whether I'm able to stop fidgeting what the next's post would gonna be. To test whether I can contain all what I know to just within myself. So, do i succeed?

The truth is I fail. It's a bigfat failure. I can only stand for only 24 hours, how pathetic was that?! I can't live without unleashing all those ideas that's been swirling in my head. I can't stand it if I don't write. Or update this site. I feel like I'm going crazy if I don't blog. It feels like a massive burden keep on piling and piling if I don't let out what I've been stocking inside me to some outlet. This blog.

I watched Sister Act 2 on TV2 the other night. It hit me when Whoopie Goldberg in her character Sister Mary Clarence said to one of the student; "...if you wake up in the morning, you could think of nothing else but writing, then you should be a writer. Same goes to you, if you wake up and you could think of nothing else but singing, you should be a singer!" (I think the dialog is more or less like that). The point is, in other words, if you wake up in the morning, you could think of nothing else but blogging... then you should be a blogger. Enuff said. (tapi solat subuh dulu la yer...!)

I dunno whether the deleted blog would affect the readers. I think it won't. Probably to one or two of the readers. But to the whole community in the blogosphere - whether it exists nor non-existed - it doesn't make any change.

Anyway. I resurrected the blog again when I found out that it reaches #2 spot in the Blog Top List. Whoa... suddenly I got world's no. 2 most visited fashion blog, huh? That's so very cool. But, as they say in fashion one day you're in, the next day you're out... the rank has drastically dropped when I deleted the entries. Huhu. Sungguh kejam dunia fashion ni yer? :)

I think for this 1500th 'anniversary', I wanted to revisit all my blog banners that I've been using since the first time I started the site. It kinda amazed me on how the banners really changed as time goes my, reflecting a different phase of time and different mood at that particular period. Here goes...

This is the first banner when i started it, as the site is actually called 'Zamri Abdullah's Big Fat Blog', using my own name as the header. The background is the London skyline which I got somewhere in the google (sorry for not giving credit to the actual author!)

Then autumn arrives... and I used the pix that I snapped at Hyde Park to accentuate the mood.

The blog went for simplicity.. as I uses the pix from the Streetshirts.com.

London goes red for the World AIDS Day... and the backdrop of London Eye turning red that I took by the Westminster Bridge has been used as the banner. (And someone dare to save the image and use it as their desktop wallpaper. You know it's you Rashid! Lol)

Winter 2009/2010, I'm sick of using just the picture of the nature and the building. This blog is about people. About me. Therefore as a force of nature itself, I broke my own mould and gone bam!! with my own pix. It somehow brought quite a stir coz some people think it's so out there. I said, it's just me having a laugh.... and me for having a hint of provocative inside. One quirky comment about the pix is 'menggiurkan'. So funny!

Two become one. No, not Spice Girl's song... but my pix - only one is used - as I gone for simplicity again with white background.

I used the banner quite a long time, until I came back home for my 'Visa expiry' break in April 2010. And then I decided to go 'creative' and posted another pix...

In May 2010, I got the answer from the Embassy saying my Visa is successfully renewed. But I'm utterly confused whether to go back to London or not after spending almost 2 months home. And one weekend I asked my sister to bring me to the beach coz i wanted to see the sunrise. And took this snap... which I then made my banner for a short period.

My return to London at the end of May, really felt like a gloomy period. I actually resist to go back coz my hatred to living in the city is growing. And that's why I uses the 'Black Big Ben' as the banner to symbolize the mood...

And then summer comes, suddenly the mood getting brighter. As bright as the London blue sky...

Then i decided to test something new and go for other people's photo. To exude some sexiness into the blog (ooh..), I searched high and low which pix I can use to convey that understated sensuality, while at the same time creates mystery and solemn mood to the whole ambience. And I found this beauty shot of Travis Davenport...

It is shortlived, when I decided to revert to my own photo. And then autumn came, creating the whole chill factor in the capital. Becoz suddenly I was wrapped in knitwear and my snood, I decided to go for the same mood for the banner - a pix from H&M ad campaign. I really like the hair swaying thing, coz London that time is quite windy...

Another time reverting to the old banner but the blog has been given some slight changes - the expansion of the width. That's why the banner is slightly wider...

A top model treat to the banner - what's better to use the Brazilian model, Arthur Sales wearing a Native American headgear. It's simple but fun a nd colorful without being too tacky...

Another shortlived banner, another Brazillian top model - Francisco Lachowski...

In late October I decided to use Aram Gevorgyan - a Scorpio for another Scorpio (coz my bday is in Oct!). The mood is absolute sombre since I was feeling very lost as I've just return to the Malay soil again... everything is blurred that time. It's haywire. My 30+ boxes from London hasn't arrived, I met the whole nine yards of people in the office that I havent't meet for the past four years, and I dunno what's I'm gonna live without the usual stuff I've been living with in the past.. it's gloom.

Early 2011, using a pix which I think so artsy. And white background to reflect something inside me has been cleared... a better mood.

Another top model treat - River Viiperi. I love the way the pix is done...very chic, very fashion, yet very fun at the same time. To reflect the way this blog is going then... in a fun, good direction.

My life is full with good stuff. That's why I used my pix in my home office to reflect that. And What Is Fashion? statement tee to really say something about the 'fashion blog' category of this site. Is it really?

Another model treat - using Raphael Lacchine as the backdrop. I love the pix very much. One part high fashion look, one part fun, one part sexy, one part mysterious. And it's black and white. So chic. Just like yours truly.. (ahaks!)

Then the blog is going into another direction for the next round. Since I'm feeling I've been writing so much about other people's stuff, and it's time to write about me again. And using my own statement tee which is absolute 'in your face' kinda thing as a banner...

And then lots of people have been telling, why keep hiding your face. show your face ... show your face!! I dunno why you wanna see my face though? The reason why I didn't show my face is: 1) I'm not that good looking anyway, so it's better to use the top models' instead. (ehem). 2) I want you to like my writing, my creative output... not my look. So if I put my face in here, it'll be sort of cheating...  don't you think?

But since y'all ask, I made the banner with my face - side view - in a Warhol-like artwork. Does it do for you?

Yet, I think since many of you have 'discovered' me in real life, it's better to really reveal the true colors. And the real me. So, maybe I should made a banner using my silly pose like this instead? Picture with headache pose and reversed 'what is fashion' to symbolize that fashion is indeed twisted. Huhu... no, no. no.. I don't think so! It'll definitely create some sort of controversy out there. As what Melodi says, kurangkan kontroversi, tingkatkan prestasi. So, I better not. =)

The question whether this blog will be gone once and for all? The answer is: not in a chance. This creative avenue would not be erased. Otherwise I'd be in pure agony.

So, among all of the 1499 blogpost, which do you like the most? And which banner is the best? 

P/S: don't worry. as much as i talk about myself, we'll definitely talk fashion in the next post. :)